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“Thinking Green” Pages
Humourous Environmental Thinking

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Humour and the Environment?

Well they say a good teacher uses humour to make the subject memorable so why not a page of humour to make a few points here. Here are some snippets gleaned from the Internet. Here’s  a little fun exercise. If you are not sure what constitutes “environmental issues” take a piece of paper and jot down the content or focus of each quip below (one or two are just plain humour, but most have a point!):

“There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.” – Robert Orben

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.” – A. Whitney Brown

“It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.” – P. J. O’Rourke

God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.” – Jacques Deval

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because its such a beautiful animal… I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.” – Ellen DeGeneres

“People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.” – Unknown

“Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence.” – Hal Borland

“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.” – James Dent

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."   Dan Quayle

"Listen up, you couch potatoes: each recycled beer can saves enough electricity to run a television for three hours." — Denis Hayes

"There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic."  — Lily Tomlin

"The greenest house is the one that never gets built."  — Whit Faulconer

"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." — Carol Malia

"Man is a complex being; he makes the deserts bloom and lakes die."  — Gil Stern

"If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life."  — Bill Watterson,

"For 200 years we've been conquering nature. Now we're beating it to death." — Tom McMillan

"According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House."  — Jay Leno

"The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers."  — Lewis Thomas

"It's hard for the modern generation to understand Thoreau, who lived beside a pond but didn't own water skis or a snorkel."
— Loudon Wainwright

"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking... If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker." — Albert Einstein