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Laughter Corner
The last few years have seen a great surge in a new form of humour – the one-liners.
Here is a sample batch, entitled “Miscellaneous words of wisdom for work”:
* I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
* I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
* Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
* Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
* You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
* Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
* People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.:
* I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
* Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
* Don't be irreplaceable -
* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
* You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
* Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
* People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.:
Here’s another batch entitled, “Did you ever wonder why?”
You tell a man there's 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, but tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it? Why?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why isn't there mouse-
Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic?
When two aircraft almost collide, why do they call it a near miss -
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole aircraft made out of that stuff?
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