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PAGE FOUR		 - One-Liners
Laughter Corner
The last few years have seen a great surge in a new form of humour – the one-liners.
Here is a sample batch, entitled “Miscellaneous words of wisdom for work”:
* I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
* I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
* Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
* Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be  promoted.
* After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
* You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
* Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
* People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.        
* The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.:

Here’s another batch entitled, “Did you ever wonder why?”
You tell a man there's 400 billion stars and he'll believe you, but tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it? Why?
Why is it called a hamburger when it's made out of beef?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms -- are they afraid someone is going to sneak in there and clean them?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic?
When two aircraft almost collide, why do they call it a near miss -- it sounds like a near hit to me?
Why are they called buildings when they are already finished? Shouldn't we call them builts?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole aircraft made out of that stuff?

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