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PAGE EIGHT	 - Famous Last Words
Laughter Corner
In our ponderings of what things are humorous, we ought to include ‘famous last words.

The obvious ones are:

“It’ll be all, right, I’ve done this many times before.”


“It’s OK, it’s perfectly safe.”

and slightly morbidly,

“I know how to do it; you clip the safety harness like this.”

Of course you can go to a number of websites that will list many a famous word apparently spoken on their death bed, but the truth is that most of them actually aren’t funny, maybe ironic, but mostly not funny. A few illustrations to prove the point –

Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you."
- Ethan Allen, American Revolutionary general, d. 1789

 Am I dying or is this my birthday?
When she woke briefly during her last illness and found all her family around her bedside.
- Lady Nancy Astor, d. 1964

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
- John Barrymore, actor, d. May 29, 1942

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
- Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. January 14, 1957

I am about to -- or I am going to -- die: either expression is correct.
- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, d. 1702

"I don’t feel good."
- Luther Burbank (1849-1926), last words
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
- General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words

"Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- Pancho Villa (1877-1923), last words

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Decca Recording Co., rejecting the Beatles 

Pardonnez-moi, monsieur
Marie Antoinette, after stepping on her executioners foot.

I'm bored with it all.
Winston Churchill 

I feel a little better
Queen Victoria 1901

To conclude with some of the most obvious ones:

“Poison? Don’t be daft, who would want to poison me?”


“I’m sure the current is off.”